Saturday, May 26, 2012

Married...with Children

Taking a break from my research on Dracula crossover to cover something much more horrifying.  Love and marriage.

Married...with Children was a really dumb show, with stupid idiotic plots and unrealistic characters, and yet it was a show my whole family loved. (Ironically, Full House was the other show we seemed to all rally around.)

Married...with Children was a ground breaking show, in that it broke the popular trend of the family sitcom formula by showing us a truly dysfunctional family.  This was something my own family could relate to.  Other shows, like Roseanne, would soon follow to show us that the Cosbys, Seavers, and Keatons were a fantasy.

Fortunately for us, the show was popular enough to make it's way into at least one major multi-network crossover, (yes, a Bundy Crisis Crossover of sorts), and it made at least two attempts at a spin-off, one of which was only partially successful.  I now present a Bundy Chronology.

1962-- Twlight Zone --"To Serve Man" An Alien Race known has the The Kanamits make contact   with Earth to Seemingly to help Humanity. They  however Turn out to  be less then altruistic when it turns out to To Serve Man is a cook book.  a copy of this Book will change hnds over the following years assumedly sometime after the Aliens have been driven off.

1983 To 1987--HARDCASTLE AND MCCORMICK--The Story of Retired Judge Milton C. "Hardcase" Hardcastle, and Ex Car Thief Mark McCormick fight crime using the Super Car the The Coyote X

Married with Children.jpg

1987 to 1997--MARRIED...WITH CHILDREN--This is the story of shoe salesman Al Bundy, cursed with bad luck (literally).  His wife is lazy and selfish.  His daughter is dumb and slutty.  And his son is a total loser.  The typical all-American family.  Note that Playpen Magazine is seen often on this show.  Playpen Magazine also appears in THE X-FILES, MILLENNIUM, SPECIAL OPS FORCE, THE PRETENDER, THAT GIRL, GROSSE POINT, RENEGADE, PACIFIC BLUE, 3RD ROCK FROM THE SUN, THAT 70S SHOW, CSI:  CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION, RULES OF ENGAGEMENT, LOST, SUPERNATURAL, IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, and KYLE XY. 

1987 to 1996-- MARRIED WITH CHILDREN INTRO The Griswolds and the Bundy's seem to live in the Same neighborhood has the Wagon Queen Family Truckster is often seen merging into traffic has Al heads to work 

1988--  WILL ROGERS INSTITUTE-- The Bundy's try to watch a Movie end up giving money to the Will Rogers Institute 

January 1989--MARRIED WITH CHILDREN--"the Bald and Beautiful"--Al lists off several cool bald people. one of Which is  Lex Luthor 

December 1989--MARRIED WITH CHILDREN--"It's a Bundyful Life"--An angel takes the form of Sam Kinison to show life without Al Bundy, and life is great for everyone he knows.  In the end, he chooses to live because he doesn't want them to be happy.

1990--MARRIED...WITH CHILDREN--A Now Comics comic book is produced which is in canon.

April 1990--THE EARTH DAY SPECIAL--This is crossover gold, and most people don't remember it.  Appearances by the muppets, MURPHY BROWN, BUGS BUNNY (from the Looniverse), PORKY PIG (from the Looniverse), TWEETY (from the Looniverse), Will Smith (THE FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIRE), DOOGIE HOWSER M.D., Kid 'n' Play (HOUSE PARTY), Dr. Emmett Brown (BACK TO THE FUTURE), MOTHER NATURE, SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Weekend Update anchor Dennis Miller, Elon Spengler (brother of Egon Spengler of the GHOSTBUSTERS), Nathan Thurm (SCTV/SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE), the people of CHEERS, the Huxtables (COSBY SHOW), THE GOLDEN GIRLS, E.T. THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL, the cast of THE DATING GAME, the cast of JEOPARDY, Doctor SteVen Kiley (MARCUS WELBY, M.D.) and the Bundys (MARRIED WITH CHILDREN).  All these characters, plus other celebrities, appearing as themselves or one time characters are all part of the same story, thus sharing the same reality.  Basically, the Earth is doomed, unless we can save the environment.  This is a global crisis, and just like a DC Comics Crisis event, all these different characters are affected by the same crisis.  Loved it then, and I found it on youtube.  Enjoy.  Oh, and if you catch any crossovers I missed while watching, please let me know.  

October 1990--PARKER LEWIS--"Musso & Frank"--Frank Lemmer, school disciplinarian, is such a badass he gives Bud Bundy detention, and Bud doesn't even go to that school.

October 1990--MARRIED WITH CHILDREN--"Kelly Bounces Back" The Coyote X From Hardcastle and McCormick Appears at a car show

October 1990-- "Pig out with Peggy" Peg Bundy  writes a cook book

1991--TOP OF THE HEAP--Charlie Verducci and his son try to pretend to be rich to con the real rich folk.  His son Vinnie used to date Kelley over on Married.

November 1991--MARRIED...WITH CHILDREN--"God's Shoes"--Al dies and goes to Heaven, but is quickly returned to Earth.  During his glimpse, he got to see God's shoes, and tried to market them, but failed.

1992--VINNIE AND BOBBY--Charlie moves out and Vinnie's friend Bobby becomes the new roommate and it didn't help the show's ratings at all.

April 1992--MARRIED WITH CHILDREN---"Goodbye  Girl" Jefferson is strongly implied to Actually be Ted Mcginley 

November 14 1992--SATURDAY NIGHT'S MAIN EVENT--  Al tunes into Saturday Nights Main Event

April 1993--TWILIGHT  ZONE PINBALL--   A copy of To Serve Man is among the items in a Mysterious curio  shop somehow connected to the Twilight Zone.

January 1994--MARRIED ...WITH CHILDREN--"Sofa So Good"  the Citizens of Wanker County have a Copy of TO  SERVE MAN   Which Al  is horrified  learn is a cookbook.

February 1994--MARRIED...WITH CHILDREN--"How Green Was My Apple"--It's hinted that the surveyer that visits the Bundys may be a grown Danny Partridge of THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY.

February 1994--MARRIED...WITH CHILDREN--"Get Outta Dodge" Kelly Finds Waldo and Brings him home

July 1994--TWILIGHT ZONE TOWER OF TERROR RIDE AT DISNEY HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS-- A copy of To Serve Man is among the items in the Holly Wood Tower Hotel

May 1995--MARRIED...WITH CHILDREN--"Radio Free Trumaine"--This was meant to be the pilot for a spin-off that would feature Bud in college with Marci's niece working at the college radio station and butting heads with new Dean Steve Rhodes.

October 1995--MARRIED...WITH CHILDREN--"Requiem for a Dead Briard"--Buck the Dog dies and goes to Animal Heaven which turns into Hell as he is judged by a cat.  Al hires Father Guido Sarducci to perform a seance, which gets Buck reincarnated into a new dog, specifically the Bundys' new dog, Lucky.  Father Guido Sarducci was a recurring character on Saturday Night Live.  Besides his appearances on SNL, he has appeared on GILDA LIVE, BECOME AN ARTIST, SQUARE PEGS, ON LOCATION:  THE COMEDY STORE'S 11TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW, JOAN RIVERS AND FRIENDS SALUTE HEIDI ABROMOWITZ, FATHER GUIDO SARDUCCI GOES TO COLLEGE, NOT NECCESSARILY THE NEWS, IT'S GARRY SHANDLING'S SHOW, GREAT PERFORMANCES, TALES OF THE CITY, BLOSSOM, THE GORDON ELLIOT SHOW, CASPER, MARRIED WITH CHILDREN, HO HO NOOOOOOO!!!! IT'S MR. BILL'S CHRISTMAS SPECIAL, UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER, MAKING TUTTI, SIN CITY SPECTACULAR, THE COLBERT REPORT, and THE RALLY TO RESTORE SANITY AND/OR FEAR.

March 1996-- MARRIED...WITH CHILDREN--"Turning Japanese"Marcy is trying to impress her 
boss Mr. Shimokawa. Byer doing very stereotypical Japanese things When Marcy and Jefferson offer him Tea Mr. Shimokawa thinks to himself"offering a Japanese man tea that's like Gilligan getting off the island and being offered a coconut". Later Marcy refers to the Bundys returning home at the worst possible time has them Mothraing on home"

April 1996--MARRIED...WITH CHILDREN--"Enemies"--This was meant to be a pilot for a show with Kelley and a group of young 20-somethings, plus Alan Thicke.  Note that another spin-off idea based on "NO MA'AM" never panned out either.

May 1996--MARRIED...WITH CHILDREN-- "Torch Song Duet" Griff Calls in to a radio station and is told to Keep his problems to himself  because this isn't  Frasier.  Frasier  is of course form Cheers and Frasier

September 1996 to February 1997--MARRIED WITH CHILDREN--"Damn Bundys"--Al Bundy makes a deal with the Devil to play in the NFL, but on the day of the Super Bowl, the Devil comes to collect Al's soul, and sentences him to an eternity of spending time only with his family and his neighbors, the D'Arcys.  Napoleon also appears.  Napoleon has also appeared on THE AVENGERS, THE TIME TUNNEL, I DREAM OF JEANNIE, THE PRISONER, TIME BANDITS, THE NEVER SAY U.N.C.L.E. AFFAIR, BEWITCHED, and BLACKADDER:  BACK AND FORTH. 

June 1997--MARRIED WITH...CHILDREN--"Chicago Shoe Exchange"  Al is Reading a  presumably magic  Newspaper that has also appeared onJonas,Traveler's Insurance ad, Worst Week,A murder of crows,A Texasi Láncfűrészes,Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy,No Country for Old Men,Power Rangers Zeo,Dallas,Angel,Charmed,Six Feet Under,Malcolm in The Middle,Lucky Louie,Smith,everybody hates Chris,Desperate Housewives,Scrubs,Wildfire,10 things I hate about you tv series, Cougar Town and Modern Family 

March 22nd 2012--PISSEDCONSUMER.COM--Gary's Shoes is Given a Bad Review by a lady form Springfield Arkansas after a run in with Al

Recently--These became a very popular product.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

Occasionally, the TVCU will discuss a character whose origins are a little askew of the norm.  Elvira did not start of in some film or tv storyline, like most of our characters discussed.  If anything, she falls in the ranks with such an assortment of characters as Father Guido Sarducci, Kermit the Frog, Jose Jiminez, Pee Wee Herman and mostly, the Shadow.

Elvira started out as the host of a local network's horror movie programming.  This fictional Vampira knock-off was a goth valley girl who would introduce the films and the commercials, and occasionally interrupt the film with her sarcastic remarks, ala MST3K.

She became such a hit, that soon she started appearing, as Elvira, in guest spots n a variety of TV shows, was featured in numerous commercials, and even finally got that TV series and a few films.

She is an icon of my childhood who seems not to have aged one bit, and I'm very pleased to write this blog.

1851--ELVIRA'S HAUNTED HILLS--An ancestor of Elvira's, who must be part of the group that splintered from the witch kin and lost touch with their magical abilities long ago, is in Romania where she is sought after by a vampire who wants to make her his bride.

1981--ELVIRA'S MOVIE MACABRE--Elvira is hired to host her own show that plays old cheesy B horror films.  She's perfect for the role.

1982--ELVIRA AND THE VITONES 3-D TV--Her first music album release.

OCTOBER 1982--CHIPS--"Rock Devil Rock"--Ponch and Hot Dog (yeah, they jumped the shark at this point) meet Elvira.

April 1983--CHIPS--"Things That Go Creep In the Night"--Not even October and Elvira shows up, but it is a horror themed episode.
1983--VINYL MACABRE--Record album.

October 1983--THE RICHARD SIMMONS SHOW--Richard Simmons and Elvira in what to me sums up the 80s.

1984--LAST OF THE GREAT SURVIVORS--This is a TV movie.  Not sure what it's about, but Elvira appears.

1984--MOVIE MACABRE--"The Human Duplicators"--June Cleaver meets ELVIRA, MISTRESS OF THE DARK.

October 1984--FALL GUY--"October the 31st"--Colt Seavers meets Elvira.

February 1985--SUPER BLOOPERS AND PRACTICAL JOKES--Elvira guests.

1985--THRILLER VIDEO/ELVIRA'S MIDNIGHT MADNESS/BOX OF HORRORS--Elvira begins doing pre-recorded intros for VHS movies.  (Of course, only the worst of the worst.)

1985--GET OUT OF MY ROOM--Elvira appears during the events that coincide with another film, BORN IN EAST L.A. (and the music video of the same name.)

1985--BOB HOPE BUYS NBC?--Elvira appears in this telethon to save NBC.

OCTOBER 1985--SUPER BLOOPERS AND PRACTICAL JOKES--Elvira guest again for the Halloween episode.

October 31, 1985 to December 1986--ELVIRA'S HOUSE OF MYSTERY--Following some sort of cosmic Crisis, a house becomes available and Elvira moves in, unaware that this house is a portal to THE DREAMING and that the former occupant was CAIN, a being created by Morpheus THE SANDMAN using some dream essence of the immortal KANE thousands of years ago.  Note that Elvira has appeared in other comics by other publishers as well.

November 1985--FALL GUY--"October the 32nd"--Colt once again encounters Elvira.

1986--WRESTLEMANIA 2--Elvira is one of the celebrity guests at this sporting event.

OCTOBER 1986--ELVIRA'S HALLOWEEN SPECIAL--Elvira plays MTV VJ for a day.


October 31, 1987--SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE--Elvira appears on Weekend Update.

1988--ELVIRA:  MISTRESS OF THE DARK--Elvira inherits the family home in Salem, MA when her aunt dies and learns that she comes from a long line of powerful witches.  She must learn to master her own innate powers to combat her uncle Elmo, who also wants the house and the spellbook left within it.  Note that Elvira's aunt's last name is Talbot, not a common name in the TVCU, but whenever does seem to have that name, it usually implies a family connection to THE WOLF MAN.
Elvira: Mistress of the Dark

1988--THE MAGICAL WORLD OF DISNEY--Michael Eisner hosts this retrospective on Disney, with lots of commentary by real life TV celebs, including Elvira.

October 31, 1988--NFL MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL--Elvira is at the game.  (Colts vs. Broncos if you're interested.)

March 1989--JUST SAY JULIE--Elvira is a guest.

1989--HEAVY METAL HEAVEN--Elvira hosts this Rockumentary.
October 1989--TOTALLY HIDDEN VIDEO--Elvira appears.
1990--ELVIRA:  MISTRESS OF THE DARK--Following the death of her evil uncle Elmo, Elvira, now a fully realized and powerful witch, and you, must stop Elvira's ancestor, Queen Emelda, accidentally raised from the dead, from taking over the world.

Elvira Mistress of the Dark Cover.jpg

1991--ELVIRA:  THE ARCADE GAME--Elvira gains ownership of her family's castle in Transylvania.

February 1992--PARKER LEWIS--"Boy Meets Girl II"--Elvira seems to randomly show up just because...
1992--ELVIRA II:  THE JAWS OF CERBERUS--When Cerberus captures Elvira for her power and holds her prisoner in a move studio where every prop becomes real, her boyfriend must come to save her.

Elvira 2 The Jaws of Cerberus Cover.jpg
October 31, 1992--At a U2 concert, Elvira announces her candidacy for president.

1993--THE ELVIRA SHOW--Elvira moves to Manhattan.  Manhattan, Kansas that is.  She moves in with her wacky but less evil aunt Minerva.  Things become complicated as she makes a living as a phony fortune teller selling fake love potions, and falls for the cop whose trying to bust her operation.



1995 to 1997--ELVIRA'S FRIDAY THE 13TH--Elvira seems to show up to celebrate at the MGM theme park whenever it's Friday the 13th.

1995--THE KETCHUP VAMPIRES--Elvira is caught in the middle as vegetarian vampires face off against the good old fashioned blood sucking variety.

February 1996--STRANGE UNIVERSE--This is a show that explores the mysteries of our world like Big Foot and UFOs, while under the careful watch of at least one Man in Black.  In this one show, Elvira guests.

June 1996--SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST--"Switcheroo"--Far in the future, the barriers between the TVCU and Looniverse have broken down, and travel back and forth is relatively easy, so much so that there is little distinction, and it's hard to say which characters come from which reality.  In this future, there was a super-hero called Space Ghost.  Now to old to fight, he hosts a talk show, where he interviews celebrities from the TVCU of the late 20th century.  In this instance, Elvira is the celebrity guest.

October 28, 1996--NFL MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL--Elvira at another game, this time Bears v. Vikings.

1997--SUPERSTITION--Know nothing about this, other than it's a cross.  Elvira and the Frankenstein Monster.

April 1998--THE RUPAUL SHOW--Elvira is a guest.

2001--SCARES AND DARES--Elvira hosts a game show where the WINNERS are TORTURED!!!!!!
2005--I LOVE THE 80'S 3-D--Elvira is one of the celeb commentators.
2005--I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS--Again, Elvira is a commentator.  Wonder which of the holidays she's discussing?  Probably Arbor Day.  She is best known for her love of trees, after all.

2006--Elvira once again announces her candidacy for president.

October 2006--THE GIRLS NEXT DOOR--"Girls Will Be Ghouls"--Elvira visits the playmates.

2007--THE SEARCH FOR THE NEXT ELVIRA--Finding her schedule far too busy, and finding herself getting up there in age (gasp!), Elvira holds tryouts via reality TV for an heir to the throne.

February 2008--ZOMBIE KILLER--Elvira adds her vocals to this song performed by Leslie and the Ly's, who would later perform to an audience of zombies in a stadium named after the Mistress of the Dark.

2008--HER MORBID DESIRES--All I know is it has Elvira and Dracula (or rather a soul clone, I suppose.)

2010--ELVIRA'S GREATEST HITS--Whatever the modern version of a record album is, that's what this is.

September 2010--ELVIRA'S MOVE MACABRE--Elvira revives her show, but with some better films.  (Personally, I think she should have stuck with the "classic" B films.)

October 30, 2011--Elvira is guest DJ for Chicago's 97.1 FM WDRV.

October 31, 2011--THE MARILYN DENIS SHOW--Elvira is a guest.

October 2011--LAST MAN STANDING--"Last Halloween Standing"--Ed is dating (or doing something with) Elvira.


MONSTAAH--I suggest reading Chris Nigro's excellent essay on Horror Hosts.  

I know there is more info out there, and please, Elvira fans, if you have more details, please let me know.  Info out there on the web on Elvira is actually much scarcer than I thought, but at least I hope I have established enough of a connection to cement her place in the TVCU, with her connections to CHIPS, LEAVE IT TO BEAVER, THE FALL GUY, and PARKER LEWIS.

Friday, May 18, 2012

How I Met Your Mother: A Blog that's Legen... Wait for it.

Connor, in May of 2012 my work schedule had just changed allowing me more free time, and since I was conserving my money for your upcoming summer visit, there wasn't much for me to do but blog and watch a lot of How I Met Your Mother on Netflix.

Now I've been telling you the story of the Television Crossover Universe for quite some time, and I know you're wondering how much longer you'll have to sit on that couch, and how I ended up sounding like Bob Saget as I got older.  But first, let me tell you about the chronology of How I Met Your Mother, it's major events and crossovers.

First, it should be noted that the show's narrative takes place in the year 2030, where Ted Mosby is telling the story to his children, apparently on just one day.  The main part of the series takes place in flashback, from Ted's point of view, meaning that sometimes what he says isn't true, either because of poor memory of the event, exaggeration on his part, or pure lying to protect his children.  And then, within the story, the main characters also have flashbacks, that are also often altered for the same reason.  Now, we could dismiss it all as speculation, or, just as the show does, present it all as if it might be true.


Since the dawn of time of time--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Season 1 Episode 3--"The Sweet Taste of Liberty"--According to Barney, since the dawn of time, man has struggled...  Ted never let Barney finish this thought.  Barney tells a lot of historical stories that are from his skewed version of reality, and shouldn't be taken too seriously.

1670--FAMILY GUY--"Peter's Progress"--The cast of HOW I MET YOUR FATHER somehow are thrown back in time and alter the name of their show to HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, touring kingdoms performing for kings, until killed for displeasing the King of England.

October 1905--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Season 1 Episode 4--"Return of the Shirt"--Birth of Ethel and Sadie Margolis, who would pass away on their one hundredth birthdays.

1945--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Season 1 Episode 4--"Return of the Shirt"--Henry begins driving a handsome cab.

1972--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Season 1 Episode 4--"Return of the Shirt"--Micky Mantle is a passenger of Henry's handsome cab for the fourth time.

1976--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Birth of Barney Stinson in Port Richmond, Staten Island.

Barney Stinson.jpgBarney.jpg

March 22, 1978--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Birth of Lily Aldrin in Brooklyn, New York. Her grandfather may be astronaught Buzz Aldrin.  At least the show's creators won't dispute this claim.

Lily aldrin.jpgLily.jpg

April 25, 1978--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Birth of Ted Mosby in Shaker Heights, Ohio.

Ted profile.jpg

1978--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Birth of Marshall Erickson in St. Cloud, Minnesota.

Marshall profile.jpg

July 23, 1980--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Birth of Robin Scherbatsky in Canada.

Cobie Smulders(1).jpgRobin.jpg

July 23, 1981--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Barney is taken to the museum by his real father, though Barney believes this to be his "Uncle Jerry".


1984--GHOSTBUSTERS--Ted's perfect woman is described as someone who likes dogs, drinks Scotch, and can quote obscure lines from Ghostbusters.

1985--THE GOONIES--Mentioned by Marshall


1987--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"Slap Bet"--Ted is trapped under a fake rock at the mall.

1992--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"Happily Ever After"--Lily passes gas and blames it on another kid, who as a result ends up becoming the least popular kid in school.

1993--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--This is the last time Ted vomits prior to the start of the series.

1993 to 1998--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"Glitter/Slap Bet/Sandcastles in the Sand"--Robin becomes a Canadian TV star and pop music star called Robin Sparkles.

1994--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Up to this point, Robin had been raised as a boy by her father, but after he catches her kissing a boy on her hockey team, he disowns her and she moves in with her mother.

1995--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Ted loses his virginity.

September 1996--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Lily, Marshall and Ted meet when they all begin attending Wesleyan University.  Ted and Marshall are roommates and Lily and Marshall begin dating almost immediately.  They also have a friend, Steve Henry, who has a curse that whenever he leaves early, he misses something amazing, a curse actually passes from one person to another.  He earns the nick-name of the Blitz.

April 1998--SEINFELD--"The Bookstore"--Kramer and Newman begin a rickshaw transport company in New York, which apparently catches on, as seen in 2010 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER episode "Subway Wars".

1999--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Barney's brother James arranges for Barney to lose his virginity to the neighborhood cougar, who lies and tells Barney he was the best she ever had.  This follows his recently being dumped by his girlfriend by a business man.  These two events combined spark his transformation from hippie to the man he is today.

2001--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Season 1 Episode 1--"Pilot"--Barney meets Ted.

2002--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Season 1 Episode 4--"Return of the Shirt"--The last time Ted saw Natalie.  Ted broke up with her on her birthday, on her answering machine, with all of her friends and family listening.  [The episode's main portion also takes place during her birthday, so this must have been around October 10.]

Fall 2004--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Marshall begins attending Colombia Law School.

Winter 2004/2005--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Season 1 Episode 3--"The Sweet Taste of Liberty"--Barney shows up at Ted's apartment in a snowsuit holding a shovel, declaring, "We're building an igloo in Central Park.  It's going to be to be legendary.  Snowsuit up!"  [This could have possibly happened any winter after Barney and Ted met in 2001.  I'm just assuming it was pretty recent as it was used as a reference by Ted as to how Barney overusing the word "legendary".]

February 24, 2005--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Season 1 Episode 3--"The Sweet Taste of Liberty"--Barney places a suitcase on a luggage carousal in his scam to pick up girls.  [Date is seen on airport security camera video footage.]

March 17, 2005--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Season 1 Episode 3--"The Sweet Taste of Liberty"--Barney places a duffle bag on a luggage carousal in his scam to pick up girls.  [Date is seen on airport security camera video footage.]

May 23, 2005--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Season 1 Episode 3--"The Sweet Taste of Liberty"--Barney is seen coming out of a suitcase on a luggage carousal in his scam to pick up girls.  [Date is seen on airport security camera video footage.]

2005--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Season 1 Episode 1--"Pilot"--This is where we meet for the first time Ted, Lily Marshall, Barney and Robin. [Takes place over a period of three days.  Presumedly this occurs on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  This episode aired on September 19, 2005.]

2005--Between Pilot and Purple Giraffe--Robin is in Orlando for a week.

Fall 2005--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--SEASON 1 EPISODE 1--"Purple Giraffe"--Ted throws a party in hopes of seeing Robin again, but when she doesn't show up, he throws another... and another. [Takes place over a period of three days. I presume this is in the fall.  The episode states it is 2005.  Marshall is studying for an exam, so it is during the school year, and this episode airs on September 26, 2005.  The parties take place on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights.]

2005--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Opening theme--The opening theme that remained the opening for the entire series first debuted with episode 2, but seems likely to be events depicted following the party on the third evening of Purple Giraffe.  Pictures taken from this same night, from an alternate point of view, are shown in episode 3 as part of Ted's narrative to his children.

2005--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Season 1 Episode 3--"The Sweet Taste of Liberty"--Barney's plan to meet girls at the airport backfires as he and Ted are picked up by airport security. Meanwhile, Lily gets jealous of Robin. [This episode takes place in one evening, a Friday night.  The date isn't referenced.  However, presumedly it takes place around the airdate, October 3, 2005.)  Note on continuity:  Marshal almost fights a man who he thinks is hitting on Lily, but is relieved when the man turns out to be gay.  Marshal declares that he has never been in a fight before.  In later episodes, it will turn out that Marshal has actually been in numerous extremely brutal fights with his brothers, and is a great fighter.

October 2005--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Season 1 Episode 4--"Return of the Shirt"--Ted reconnects with an old flame and soon remembers why he dumped her in the first place. Barney pays Robin to say outrageous things on the air. [Several flashbacks are shown to several women Ted has dated in the past.  It's unknown when those happened, but should have happened after college.] [Said to be October.  The episode takes place over a period of three weeks. Natalie's birthday is on the last day of this episode.]

c. January 9, 2006--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"The Wedding"--Clips shown as a flashback when Ted talks about his past encounters with Robin, including their first date.

c. May 15, 2006--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"Come On"--The scene where Ted steals the blue French horn is shown.

September 30 to October 1, 2006--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"Brunch"--The first time we meet Ted's parents.  Your uncle Toby believes that Virginia Mosby may be the identical cousin of Angela Petrelli of HEROES, which he discuses here.  Your uncle Toby concludes by saying "But then you should drag in all the other characters she has played in the past as well, from 'Picket Fences', 'Providence', ,Charmed' and 'Grace Under Fire' to one-shots like 'Saved', 'Crossing Jordan', 'CSI' and 'NCIS'. And on and on......"

October 2006--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Season 1 Episode 4--"Return of the Shirt"--Natalie is married by this point, and will by 2030 have had three children.

Early November 2006--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"Swarley"--the guys are in a coffee shop which is the original set of Central Perk, sitting in the same spot the FRIENDS sat in. The furniture is all different, and the shop name is different, but the layout is the same, and it's clearly the same building and room. The guys talk about how boring it is to hang out in a coffee place instead of a bar.

April 20, 2007--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"Showdown"--Barney appears on the Price as Right, because he thinks Bob Barker is his father.  

May 2007--FAMILY GUY--"No Chris Left Behind"--Even before a movie was made about Ted, apparently someone else stole his life and made a show about it, called HOW I MET YOUR FATHER.  I suspect Barney, who has also had several books published, including his playbook and Bro Code, and has a popular blog.

c. May 14, 2007--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"Something Blue"--The scene where Ted steals the blue french horn is shown.

November 26, 2007--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"The Yips"--The gang meet Victoria's Secret models.

Mid May 2008--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"Everything Must Go"--Lily sells one of her paintings,only because the frame is made by Anton Kreitzer.  Kreitzer is a real person, though his name was once used by Norm Peterson.  Your uncle Toby uses this to connect HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER to CHEERS here.

Late September 2008--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"The Best Burger in New York"--Your uncle Toby points out that Regis Philbin appears in this episode as himself.  Using his rule called "the League of Themselves", which he discusses here, this connects HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER to other shows such as "All My Children", "One Life to Live", "Primetime Glick", "The Famous Jett Jackson", "LateLine", "Caroline in the City", "Style and Substance", "Second Noah", "Soul Man", Marry Me (1997 TV movie), "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", "Hope & Gloria", "Women of the House", "The Cosby Mysteries", "The Larry Sanders Show", "Seinfeld", "Kung Fu: The Legend Continues", "Mad About You", "Number 96", "Spin City", "Lilo & Stitch: The Series", "The Simpsons", and "Family Guy".  This episode is also the first appearance of Goliath National Bank.  Your uncle James has provided me with this info:  So, make of this How I Met Your Mother theory what you will, but TVTropes argues that the company Barney works for--Altrucell--is actually a front for COBRA.

From TVTropes:
Think about it: what do we know about the company Barney works for? 
• They spend a lot of time acquiring banks, and theoretically, have a lot of bankers/financiers working with them
• They're evil
• They regularly get attacked by ninjas
• They have destabilized at least one nation
• They regularly do business with countries the U.S. considers threats (North Korea and China, at least.)
Sounds a lot like COBRA to me.

That same day that your uncle James told me this, I got an e-mail from COBRA INSURANCE.  Cobra has many fronts, including Extensive Enterprises. There's also these: Fronts
To hide certain aspects of its operation, Cobra maintains a number of legitimate business fronts (in addition to the town of Springfield itself and its encompassing businesses) nearly all of which appear to be anagrams of the word "cobra".
Naja Trading Corp and its likely subsidiary, "Naja Hanna Video Corp", is the first of these fronts to appear in the comics. It has offices in both San Francisco as well as Rio Lindo in the Republic of Sierra Gordo. Cobra used it to smuggle MX missile guidance chips out of the country inside video games. Dr. Venom was in charge of the Rio Lindo office. "Naja Hanna" is Hindi for "King Cobra".[5]
Arbco (AKA ARBco Regional) is the largest and most prominent Cobra front in the Marvel RAH comics. Although it apparently started in Springfield, it grew to have offices in at least 10 major U.S. cities including Denver.
Arbco Furniture Company: Cobra maintained a secret testing lab within for a deadly plague toxin in Springfield, Vermont.[6]
Arbco Moving & Storage (AKA Arbco Moving): Cobra uses moving trucks with "Arbco" stamped on the sides to transport H.I.S.S. tanks covertly into Washington D.C. for an attack on the U.S. Treasury.[7] They were also used to transport sensitive spy equipment for reassigned undercover Crimson Guardsmen.[8] Cobra Commander maintains a mobile office in an Arbco Moving truck.[9]
Arbco Bros. Circus: Billy learned that Cobra uses the circus as a cover to transport HISS tanks and FANG copters (mistakenly referred to as "SNAP copters") around the country.[8]
Carbo Plumbing: A surveillance team of Tele-Vipers eavesdrop on a military inquest from a plumbing van outside the Pentagon.[10]
Robca Realty
Broca Bros. Carnival
Orbac - Cobra troops were moved into the Safeco Field Stadium in Seattle using trucks with this name on the side.[11] Zartan used an Orbac truck as a mobile HQ as well.[12]
Extensive Enterprises - This global company based out of the twin Enterprise Towers in Enterprise City existed primarily to serve Cobra's administrative needs with Tomax and Xamot as the corporation's CEOs. Its first appearance was in the third G.I. Joe miniseries and then in the regular TV series in the episide "Red Rocket's Glare". Although the company existed primarily in the TV universe, it would later be adapted by Devil's Due for use in the comics continuity as well. In the IDW comic continuity, it is a pre-existing, corrupt multinational firm that is absorbed into Cobra.
M.A.R.S.- Military Armaments Research Systems/Syndicate - a legitimate weapons manufacturing firm headquartered in Callender, Scotland. James McCullen Destro XXIV is the current owner and CEO.

c. April 27, 2009--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"The Three Days Rule"--the scene in which Ted tells Robin he loves her is shown

January 31, 2010--SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL--Barney holds up a sign at the Super Bowl asking hot women to call him.  And they do in the next episode of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER.

Mid May 2010--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"The Wedding Bride"--Barney references that the only street in New York where people act as nice as Marshall does with his neighbors has a giant yellow bird living on it.

c. May 24, 2010--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"Doppelgangers"--The scene when Ted first sees Robin is shown.

Thanksgiving 2010--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"Blitzgiving"--Steve "The Blitz" Henry temporarily passes off the curse, but regains it.  During this day, he mentions that he "was on that island for what seems like eternity".  I know very little about LOST, so I'm not sure how conflating Steve Henry and Hugo "Hurley" Reyes is possible. If anyone can help me reconcile this implied crossover, please let me know.

c. January 3, 2011--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"Bad News"--Robin saying nonsense words on air, and falling into horse manure after interviewing a horse carriage driver is shown.

Mid to Late February 2012--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"NO Pressure"--Your Uncle Toby assures me that it was his cousin Conan, the talk show host, who visited McClaren's bar.  He talks about it here, where he makes the connection between HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER and 'Lateline', 'Eaglehart', 'Arli$$', 'Web Therapy', 'Sesame Street', 'The Office', '30 Rock', 'Veronica's Closet', "The Rutles 2: Can't Buy Me Lunch", 'Primetime Glick', "Elmopalooza!", 'DAG',  the Emmy Awards, 'The Simpsons', 'Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist', 'Space Ghost, Coast To Coast', and 'Futurama'.

2013--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"CHALLENGE ACCEPTED/MAGICIAN'S CODE"--Presumably this is when Barney marries Robin, which is FINALLY when Ted meets his future wife (not counting that she was in the classroom the day he went into the wrong room, the time they were at the same club, or when he saw her foot.)

2015--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--Ted is married and with two children at least by this date.

March 2017--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--"Last Cigarette Ever"--Barney has his last cigarette.

2021--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--At their 20th college reunion, Ted learns that he didn't make out with Lily on the day they met, and they still enjoy eating sandwiches from time to time.

2030--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--An older Ted Mosby is telling the story to his son and daughter about how he met and will eventually marry their mother. [Every episode is a story in flashback, that Ted is telling to his children in one evening.  The pilot says that the first episode was 25 years earlier, so this may be Fall (September) 2030, maybe even September 19, 2030, which would be exactly 25 years after the date the pilot aired.]

2038--HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER--60 year old Marshal (of How I Met Your Mother) has access to time travel, which he uses to give 30 year old Marshal a sign that time travel will exist when he's 60. The sign is he arranges for young Marshal to get some free hot wings, a sign that young Marshal is completely oblivious to.

And that's my first draft of the How I Met Your Mother blog, about a show your mother and I wouldn't let you watch at the time, but you still managed to learn about from your friends at school.  And of course, you know, if I hadn't written that blog, then I would have never become a best selling author of crossover fiction.  

Oh, and...