Wednesday, April 12, 2017

XENA



In a time of ancient gods, warlords and kings...
A land in turmoil cried out for a hero. 
She was Xena, a mighty princess forged in the heat of battle. 
The power...the passion...the danger. 
Her courage will change the world.

How am I going to manage this one?  Xena is demonstrated to exist in the past of the Television Crossover Universe.  But her timeline has so many crosses with historical figures that are so anachronistic that even within the looseness of TVCU stretches to timelines of historical figures, it's stretched to its limits.  

Did Xena do a lot of time travelling in her journeys that wasn't clearly seen on screen?  Did she exist in some Once Upon a Time type fairy tale realm?  Let's hope things unfold as I cover this chronology.

This may end up to be my least canonical post despite my best attempts to make it strictly canonical.  

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Please click here for an article that helps argue that Xena actually takes place around 1275 B.C. instead, even reconciling the historical inaccuracies without using time travel or alternate dimensions.  

480 B.C.--G.I. JOE # 49--"Serpentor"--Xerxes I gives a speech that later is recalled by Serpentor, who has Xerxes' DNA.  Xerxes has also appeared in XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS and SOUTH PARK.


100 B.C. to 44 B.C.--G.I. JOE # 50 & 73/YEARBOOK # 3/SERPENTOR'S FILECARD--"The Battle of Springfield/Divided We Fall/My Dinner with Serpentor"--Life of Julius Caesar, whose DNA will be used to create Serpentor. Julius Caesar has also appeared in THE ABBOTT AND COSTELLO SHOW, ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN, BEWITCHED, HERCULES: THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS, RELIC HUNTER, XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS, and CARMEN SANDIEGO'S GREAT CHASE THROUGH TIME.


THE TIME OF HERCULES AND XENA

From Wikipedia:  

Xena: Warrior Princess is set primarily in a fantasy version of ancient Greece and was filmed in New Zealand. Some filming locations are confidential, but many scenes were recorded in places such as the Waitakere Ranges Regional Park, part of the Auckland Regional parks often credited at the end of the episodes.[13]
The Ancient Greece depicted in the show is largely derived from historical locations and customs, modifying known places and events – battles, trading routes, towns, and so on – to generate an attractive fictional world. The settlements are presented as a mixture of walled villages and rural hamlets set in a lush green, mountainous landscape. They are often seen under attack from warlords, and travelling between them involves frequent encounters with small bands of outlaws. All of the main towns are named after historic towns of Ancient Greece, and exhibit some of their essential characteristics – Amphipolis (birthplace of Xena[14]), Potidaea (birthplace of Gabrielle[15]), Athens (birthplace of Joxer[16]), CorinthDelphi, and Cirra (birthplace of Callisto[17]) which was burnt to the ground by Xena's army.
As the show progressed, however, events took place throughout more modern times and places, from Cleopatra's Alexandria to Julius Caesar's Rome. The mythology of the show transitioned from that of the Olympian Gods to include Judeo-Christian elements. Eastern religions were touched on as well, with little regard to accurate time-and-place concerns. One episode, "The Way", which loosely interpreted elements of Hinduism as major plot points, generated controversy, requiring the producers to add a disclaimer at the head of the episode and a tag explaining the episode's intentions at its end.[18]
Mythological and supernatural locations are presented as equally real, physical places, often accessed through physical portals hidden in the landscape such as lakes and caves. They include the Elysian FieldsTartarus, the River StyxValhallaHeaven and Hell. The inhabitants of such places – gods, mythological beings and forces – are for the most part manifested as human characters who can move at will between their domains and the real world. Ares, the Greek God of War, for instance, is an egotistical man who wears studded black leather, and Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, is a California valley girl who uses typical valley girl slang and dresses in flowing, translucent pink gowns.

A Xena warrior princess

There is a version of Greek mythology in the Enchanted Forest dimension, which makes me ponder that the Hercules/Xena shows may actually not be our past, but have been part of this other dimension, which makes sense since this other dimension seems to take events from all over history and smoosh them together into one short period of time, as was also the case with Hercules/Xena.

33 B.C.--Birth of Xena.

26 B.C.--Death of Xena's father.

20 B.C.--Death of Xena's brother.

19 B.C.--Xena begins her journey of death and destruction.

17 B.C.--Xena spends time at sea.

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16 B.C.--Xena has a love relationship with her captive, a young Julius Caesar!  She learns how to apply pressure points during this time.  Caesar betrays Xena.  Xena loses her friend who sacrificed herself to save Xena.  This drives Xena to further darkness.  

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15 B.C.--Xena forms a new army in Hungary with Boria, a man she seduces, taking him away from his wife and child.  Xena then travels to China and learns to use the Force.  Xena then travels to Japan where she received the scar on her chest.  Then she becomes pregnant with Borias' child.  Then she gains the title "Destroyer of All Nations" from a former Amazon.  Xena then takes that to mean she should wipe out the Amazons.  Borias then betrays Xena.  

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14 B.C.--Birth of Solan, Xena's son.  Borias is killed by Xena's soldiers when attempting to see his son.  Xena ends war with Centaurs by giving them her son to raise.  Xena then meets Ares for the first time.  Then she travels north where she becomes Odin's favorite Valkyrie and gets the Ring of the Rheingold.  

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13 B.C.--Xena's army destroys Callisto's village.  In Palestine, Xena befriends Goliath.  Xena then helps create the Ark of the Covenant containing the Ten Commandments!!!  Then she travels to England and steals a Celtic army!

12 B.C.--Half of Xena's army are killed by the Horde.  Then Xena becomes the only person to ever survive the Gauntlet.  


A darkened mountainous scene with dark clouds overhead. A lone man is standing to the left of the scene. Above the scene in golden capital letters is the title of the show.Two men, the one on the left has long brown hair and is taller than the one on the right. The man on the right has long blond hair and is wearing a tunic top and leather trousers and a gauntlet on his right arm. The man on the right is wearing a waistcoat, leather trousers and a medallion around his neck.


HERCULES: THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS (TELEVISION SERIES)
Release Date: January 16, 1995 - November 20, 1999 (Setting is an ambiguous time of Greek mythology)
Series: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
The Story: After his wife and children are killed, Hercules begins life as a wandering hero with his friend Iolis.

Notes: Hercules is really screwed up historically when it comes to accuracy. But this isn’t the real world,. It’s the Horror Universe. And in the Horror Universe, it happened as it appears on Hercules and Xena.

A woman in leather armor sits on horse back with flames behind her. At the bottom of the screen in capital letters is the word "Xena" in gold lettering.

XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS--Xena was a bandit leader who became inspired by Hercules to turn over a new leaf and become a wandering hero like him.

The Time of HERCULES:  THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS and XENA:  WARRIOR PRINCESS--I'm more and more inclined to believe that these series took place in some pocket dimension, although both heroes survived into the modern day of the main TVCU.  There are so many anachronistic appearances in this series.  A young Julius Caesar appears in both series, but most of the Hercules/Xena series should place those series centuries before the life of Julius Caesar.  Some argue that Hercules and Xena were time travelling in their journeys, but it feels more likely that they exist in some pocket fairy tale dimension. 


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XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS SEASON 3 EPISODE 12 “THE BITTER SUITE”, FEBRUARY 2, 1998--This week we talk about musicals. Not Glee. Not the Wizard of Oz. We're talking about television series that are not normally musical, but have a musically themed episodes. These aren't the shows that have a random musical act, but where a complete episode is devoted to a musical theme. We cover Xena, Buffy, Scrubs, Grey's Anatomy, House, Community, Supernatural, and the Flash. We also throw in some honorable mentions including the film Little Shop of Horrors and some sketches from classic Saturday Night Live featuring Norm MacDonald. We also pay tribute to the new novel released by our friend Chris Nigro.  Toby O'Brien adds:  On 'Xena: Warrior Princess', Sweet may have been pulling the strings behind the scenes in the dimension of Illusia, a tarot-card dream world. That was where feuding partners Xena and Gabrielle broke into song for their "Bitter Suite" war of words.

Random Fandom Episode 3: Musicals


XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS--In the Xena: Warrior Princess episode "The Play's the Thing", a theater critic remarks, "I hear "Buffus the Bacchae Slayer" is playing next door." This is likely an adaptation of the legends of this generation's slayer.  [XENA SEASON 4 EPISODE 16, MARCH 15, 1999]

XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS SEASON 5 EPISODE 10 “LYRE, LYRE, HEARTS ON FIRE”, JANUARY 17, 2000

Xena: Warrior Princess Poster


30 A.D.--25 YEARS HAVE PASSED.....  Xena & Gabrielle awaken from their 25 year old slumber to find many things changed. Joxer is an old man, married to Meg, & has 3 children, including a grown son named Virgil. He runs a tavern dedicated to the memory of Xena & Gabrielle, located on the Isle of Sicily. He also kept Argo for Xena until she passed, and even raised her daughter, Argo 2.

30 A.D.--LIVIA THE WHORE OF ROME--Everything Xena didn't want her child to be has happened. Eve now goes by Livia, a fearless roman commander. She has teamed up with Ares as his lover, he promises to make her Empress of Rome in exchange for destroying the cult of Eli.

30 A.D.--GOODBYE JOXER--Livia continues her murderous rampage. Joxer tries to save Gabrielle but is slain by Livia.

30 A.D.--EVE--In a battle between Livia & Xena, she stops midst battle to stop & pray to Eli. Livia is poised to slit Xena's throat, but a bright light intervenes, transforming her back into Eve. Eve is then forgiven for her past mistakes and initiated into the 'Way of Love'.


30 A.D.--TWILIGHT OF THE GODS--Eli grants Xena the power to kill gods since they have discovered that Livia is in fact Eve. She vaporizes Poseiden, decapitates, Discord, struck Hephastus with his own hammer, sets Hades on fire, crushes Deimos, shoots Artemis, stabs Athena, and kills the Furies with her chakram. Gabrielle accidentally kills Eve. Ares saves her by relinquishing his immortality to bring Eve back to life.

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XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS--"Heart of Darkness"--In the episode "Heart of Darkness" from season 6 of Xena: Warrior Princess, Lucifer is seen as a fallen archangel, after Xena causes him to commit all seven deadly sins. After his transformation into Satan, she promptly shoves him into a portal to Hell, taking the place of former leader of Hell, Mephistopheles, whom Xena had killed.  I know this entry makes no sense.  Eventually, when I cover Xena in her own series, I will either make her a time traveler, or attribute her adventures to a series of reincarnations.  Because honestly this would fit better perhaps around 52,000 BC.  [XENA SEASON 6 EPISODE 3 AIRED OCTOBER 16, 2000]


31 A.D.--LEGENDARY BEOWULF--Xena teams up with Beowulf to fight Grendel, whom Xena created years ago using the Rhinegold ring on Odin's favorite Valkyrie.

32 A.D.--OLD ARES HAD A FARM--Xena & Gabrielle attempt to hide the mortal Ares on a farm


32 A.D.--EMPORER CALIGULA--Xena tries to kill Archangel Michael, resulting in the loss of her power to kill gods. She has to trick Emporer Caligula (who is now a god), into killing himself in order to save Aphrodite, who is losing her immortality

32 A.D.--THE GOLDEN APPLES--Xena is hounded by a TV crew while she steals the Golden Apples from the Norselands in order to restore Ares & Aphrodite's godhood so there will be a balance of love and war in the world.

32 A.D.--AN ALTERNATE REALITY--A dead Caesar escapes from Tartarus, captures the Fates and rewrites history where he and Xena rule Rome, Gabrielle is a famous playwrite, and Alti is High Priestess of Rome.

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32 A.D.--THE FINAL DEATH OF XENA--Xena & Gabrielle travel to Japan where Xena must fight the evil Lord Yodoshi (who is Akemi's father) in the spirit realm. She dies to achieve this and defeats him. To resurrect Xena, Gabrielle must cremate Xena's body & sprinkle her ashes in the Fountain of Strength, located on Mt. Fuji before the sun sets the following day. Xena learns of the 40,000 villagers she accidentally killed burning their village down while mourning Akemi. In order for those souls to find peace, Xena must remain dead. Xena refuses to let Gabrielle resurrect her, and Xena passes on as Gabrielle inherits her weapons.

33 A.D.--THE ANCIENT C'THULU--Gabrielle convinces C'thulu to resurrect Xena, who comes back as Dark Xena. Gabrielle and Joxer (who is also brought back from the dead) and try to fix Xena. They succeed and continue their epic journys throughout more comics.

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ARMY OF DARKNESS AND XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS: WHY NOT? (DYNAMITE ENTERTAINMENT)
Release Date: 2008 (Ash comes from a contemporary setting, transported to the vague period of Greek mythology of Xena’s series)
Series: Evil Dead; Xena, Warrior Princess
The Story: Ash, always being transported through time and space, winds up in the time of Xena.
Notes: This crossover brings Xena, Warrior Princess into the Horror Universe.


XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS AND ARMY OF DARKNESS: WHAT...AGAIN? # 1 - 4 (DYNAMITE PRESS)
Release Date: October 1, 2008 - January 1, 2009 (Contemporary Setting and the time of Xena)
Series: Xena, Warrior Princess; Evil Dead
The Story: Immediately following their last meeting, Xena is transported to the present and then Ash, Xena, and Xena’s pals end up in an alternate post-apocalyptic present day timeline, caused by Ash’s meddling in the past.
Notes: Xena’s series is very historically inaccurate, but there’s nothing to say that the Greek mythology period of the Horror Universe has to be historically the same as our real world. Ash and Xena also visit the worlds within several books, but the story makes it clear they are visiting the worlds within these books, so they are not crosses with the “real” versions, such as in the case of Wizard of Oz, one of the books.

LOST ISSUES--Ross Pearsall has been putting out amazing faux covers since 2010. You can find them here.






ARMY OF DARKNESS/XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS: FOREVER... AND A DAY--Xena and Ash team up in another time travel adventure against an Army of Darkness in this four issue mini-series from 2016.


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Punisher vs Alien vs Predator vs Batman vs Terminator vs RoboCop vs Boba Fett vs Xena vs Jason Vorhees Vs USS Enteprise | SatelliteSoda

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THE NORMAL TIMELINE OF THE TVCU


March 16, 37 AD--Caligula became Emperor of the Roman Empire upon the death of Tiberius......  Toby O'Brien explains this anachronism here.  

1206--THE WAY OF THE SAINT--Not far from her life as Xena, Xena is reborn as Indian 'Mother of Peace', Arminestra.

JackOfAllTrades Complete.jpg

19th Century--JACK OF ALL TRADES--From Loki Carbis: I like this idea a lot. I also suspect that the reality of Hercules/Xena may include at least one more show by the same people: Jack of all Trades. (It's possible that yet another show by them, Cleopatra 2525, also exists in this reality.) Jack exhibits the same fractured geography and history as its predecessors, and has a similar action/comedy feel.  James Bojaciuk adds:  As for Jack of All Trades, I enjoy Toby's theory too much to take up a new theory. I love the idea that Jack of All Trades is based on an elderly Jack's memoirs that were distorted by both his boasting and the syphilis that's eating away at his brain.

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1942--WORLD WAR II--During World War II in Macedonia, Xena (reborn as Melinda Pappas) helps archaeologist Janis Covington (who is Gabrielle's descendent) discover The Xena Scrolls. Together with Jack Kleinman (who is Joxer's descendent) uncover the tomb of Ares. Jack keeps The Xena Scrolls hidden in his attic where his grandson Ted found them and used them as ideas for the Xena: Warrior Princess television show.

BATMAN (TELEVISION SERIES)--Batman and Robin protect Gotham City from various bizarre criminals. For this timeline's purposes, this dynamic duo is Bruce Wayne as Batman and Dick Grayson as Robin.

October 1969--BEWITCHED--"Samantha's Caesar Salad"--Esmerelda accidentally pulls Julius Caesar from the past. Julius Caesar has also appeared on THE ABBOTT AND COSTELLO SHOW, THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN, HERCULES: THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS, RELIC HUNTER, and XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS.



1991--CHANGES--Read here to find how this film could be linked to Xena.

August 2, 2010--SCOOBY-DOO! MYSTERY INCORPORATED (ANIMATED SERIES) SEASON 1 EPISODE 4 “REVENGE OF THE MAN CRAB”--Crystal Cove gets crabs. Actually, it’s just one very, very large crab. Dylan McKay and Brendan Walsh are victims of the Man Crab Beast, which places Beverly Hills, 90210 in the main Television Crossover Universe timeline. Pebbles Flintstone and Bamm-Bamm Rubble appear to be students at Crystal Cove High School. See the beginning of this chronology for more on Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm. Regarding Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm in Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated: Pebbles Flintstone and Bamm-Bamm Rubble appear to be students at Crystal Cove High School. They appear in their teenaged incarnations from the Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show. That means in this timeline, the Flintstones and Rubbles must exist in contemporary Crystal Cove. But by the rules of links in divergent timelines, that would place the Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm show, and the show it spawned from, The Flintstones, in the main TVCU timeline. Only, can it? The setting for the Flintstones is usually said to be circa one million B.C., and occasionally 10,000 B.C. mistakenly. Bedrock, and the entire world of their time, is a place where dinosaurs coexist with humans, and are pets and appliances. Television and telephones exist. Modern cigarettes exist there. They celebrate Christmas. They put on plays of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol and have met Santa. And Fred and Wilma saw Star Wars as kids. In conclusion, the Flintstones cannot exist in the main TVCU timeline. I allowed for some bad history in allowing Hercules and Xena, but the Flintstones is too much. But the divergent timeline rule still applies. It could possibly be that the Flintstones and the Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show exist not in the main TVCU, but in a pocket dimension, possibly accessible through portals to the lost worlds in the center of the Earth. If that’s the case, it may be that the Flintstones was actually a contemporary setting, or exists in a reality where time operates differently than in the real world, or the TVCU. 

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1999----REINCARNATION--In present day, Joxer is reborn as Annie Day; a hard core Xena fan. Her boyfriend Harry is reincarnated as Xena and their hippie psychologist Mattie Merril is really Gabielle. The manager of their past-life clinic turns out to be Ares in disguise.

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2001--CLONED!--In the 21st century, a reincarnated Alti cloned Xena & Gabrielle from a strand of their hair. They defeat Alti and the clones are seen driving off into the sunset.



2011 to Present-ONCE UPON A TIME--TELEVISION CROSSOVER UNIVERSE/ENCHANTED FOREST--There are many alternate dimensions whose origins are unknown, but there are many things parallel. One such dimension is the Enchanted Forest, where a different version of fairy tales happened in an ambiguous once upon a time. However, many of these characters found themselves trapped in the town of Storybrooke, in the TVCU, with amnesia,and apparently not aging, though not aware of it, which is part of a what we para-scholars call a time lock. Here Belle's Beast was actually Rumplestitlskin, and she is currently being locked up a prisoner of Snow White's step-mother. Cinderella has also appeared. There is a version of Greek mythology in the Enchanted Forest dimension, which makes me ponder that the Hercules/Xena shows may actually not be our past, but have been part of this other dimension, which makes sense since this other dimension seems to take events from all over history and smoosh them together into one short period of time, as was also the case with Hercules/Xena. Ivan Ronald Schablotski on Once Upon A Time / Disney Animated Universe: I'm not 100% on the status of the Tooninverse / Looniverse / Toon Town / House of Mouse these days, but I can now safely state that the fairy tale characters in ONCE UPON A TIME originated in a world that parallels the Disney Princess Universe (for lack of a better name), at least geopolitically. This week's episode featured a genie from the land of Agrabah. Agrabah is the home of Disney's animated Aladdin (and Genie), and even if the metafictional House of Mouse is not considered, characters from Aladdin have appeared in-continuity on the Hercules animated series (and in parody form in Drawn Together). And, of course, Aladdin originated in 1001 Arabian Tales, rather than Grimms' Fairy Tales, as most of the characters on Once Upon A Time did. Also, just remember that they eat Apollo candy bars in Storybrook, Maine, so it should be the same reality as SCRUBS and LOST. Another Lost / Once Upon A Time connection: Emma's car has a Geronimo Jackson bumper sticker. That's a reference to a fictional band whose hit song "Dharma Lady" was featured on LOST. Also, Emma Swann and Mary Margaret drink MacCutcheon whisky. This is a fictional brand of scotch whisky used throughout the LOST series. Toby O'Brien adds: and in the first episode the town clock was stuck at 8:15......I see the numerical sequence as being a crossover since there's something universal about them of great power and significance. 

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TVCU-2--Rumors abound that there will be a rebooted Xena series. Lawless denies it but other official sources seem to confirm it. I'm presuming that Lawless will not be involved.

On the left is a tall black haired woman, dressed in leather. She is bending down to kiss a young, slightly shorter, blonde haired woman.

Confused?  Me too.  It was hard to make sense of this timeline.  But I tried.  I really, really tried.  

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