Saturday, July 29, 2017

Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5ive

Image result for jackson 5 cartoon

Thanks to the TVCU Crew for helping me create a bizarre timeline that makes sense.

1958–1975: Early life and the Jackson 5

August 29, 1958--Alleged birth of Michael Jackson.  Michael was actually an alien who was found by the Jackson family.  Michael later forced them into show biz.

June 1961--QUANTUM LEAP--"Camikazi Kid"--Dr. Sam Becket meets young Michael Jackson and teaches him the moonwalk!  Michael would be only just under three years old in this scene, but QL places this in June 1961.  I guess his alien DNA made him mature a little bit faster than a normal human child.

Time Traveling Bong.pngChapter 2: The Middle Poster

1963--TIME TRAVELING BONG--Two time traveling cousins who use a time traveling bong end up in 1963.  They have no control over the broken time device.  They find young Michael and decide to kidnap him, saving him from the harsh life of his overbearing father, thinking they will save him from his controversial future.  However, life in 1963 is hard for these stoners and they end up returning Michael.  They unwittingly influenced Michael into wanting to be white and created his abandonment issues that led to some of his bizarre child like behaviors as an adult.

Early years

1964--Michael Jackson's public career begins officially, although he was clearly already working with his brothers when he met Sam Becket in 1961.

1960s--CELEBRITY GHOST STORIES--"Jermaine Jackson"--The home of the Jacksons was occupied by evil spirits because the home was built over a sacred Indian burial ground.


1971--Michael begins his solo career.

Jackson 5ive Poster

1971 to 1973--THE JACKSON 5IVE--The animated musical adventures of the Jackson brothers.

Decline and exit

October 1972--BLACK DYNAMITE--"Just Beat It"--Black Dynamite saves Micheal Jackson from an assassination attempt when the Jackson Five are on Soul Train.  (The Jackson 5 appeared on Soul Train on October 21, 1972.)  Black Dynamite eventually learns that Michael is actually the abusive manipulator of the Jackson family and indeed an alien trying to take over the world.  The alien race resemble the Thriller zombies.  Michael's adult form is shown to be the true form of his species.  He is a shapeshifter.  Michael decides to betray his species and resume his human identity.

1975–1981: Move to Epic and Off the Wall

The Jacksons CBS/Epic Records

Just before February 1978--SUPERMAN VS. MUHAMMAD ALI--The cover art for Superman vs Muhammed Ali shows cameos of several real and fictional characters, including the teacher and students from WELCOME BACK KOTTERColumbo, and Lucy!  And Donny & Marie OsmondSonny & Cher, the Jackson 5, etc.

Jermaine Jackson/Angie Everhart/Elisabeth Rohm/Jose Canseco Poster

July 5, 1978--CELEBRITY CLOSE CALLS--"Jermaine Jackson"--At the height of his success with the Jackson 5, Jermaine Jackson saves his brother Michael from drowning in an ocean riptide

1982–1983: Thriller and Motown 25: Yesterday, Today, Forever

1982--THRILLER--Michael and his date leave a werewolf movie.  Also playing is the film "See You Next Wednesday", a fictional film often referenced in other fiction.  Michael and his date are chased by zombies, apparently affected by Trioxin, the chemical from RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD.  The Trioxin eventually affects Michael himself, causing him to revert to his more aggressive alien nature.  

1982--Charmed establishes that real zombies were used for Thriller, manipulated by a demon.  Wizards of Waverly Place also alludes to this as being fact!!!  And the Michael Jackson THRILLER zombie appeared in the movie RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD PART II.  As seen above, our own Crazy Ivan has also had a run in with said zombies.  

Pink star with a gold colored rim and the writing "Michael Jackson" in its center. The star is indented into the ground and is surrounded by a marble-colored floor.

1984–1985: Pepsi, "We Are the World", and business career

January 27, 1984--ROBOT CHICKEN--"Badunkadunk"--Michael Jackson is abducted by the Grey Aliens following the infamous Pepsi commercial where Michael caught fire and replaced by "White Michael Jackson" as part of some odd plot to take over the world.

President Reagan wearing a suit and tie stands at a podium and turns to smile at Mrs Reagan, who is wearing a white outfit, and Jackson, who is wearing a white shirt with a blue jacket and a yellow strap across his chest.A black jacket with five round golden medals on its left and right shoulders, a gold band on its left arm sleeve, and two belt straps on the right bottom sleeve. Underneath the jacket is a golden belt, with a round ornament in its center.

1986–1990: Changing appearance, tabloids, Bad, films, autobiography, and Neverland

1986--CAPTAIN EO--Michael Jackson has left Earth and taken on the identity of Captain EO.  It could be the EO is Michael's real name.  Characters from Captain EO later crossover over with Star Wars, in STAR TOURS:  THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES.  Since Michael seemed to have aged in normal human like time and then became immortal as an adult, this can't be Michael in the past.  Let's assume that Micael is EO, and that EO is Michael's alien name.  Let's also assume that Michael had adventures as EO at some point in his long adult life, and that at some point he spent some time in the past of the Star Wars Galaxy.  (If we believe KINGDOM HEARTS and ONCE UPON A TIME, Star Wars doesn't actually take place in the past, but actually exists contemporary in another dimension.)  Of course, we know that Michael left in 1984 when the Grey Aliens kidnapped him.  He must have escaped and went on to have further adventures as EO.

Michael Jackson in 1988.jpgBlack and white photo of Jackson holding a microphone and singing.


1988--RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 2--Of course I've previously mentioned how the Romero "Dead" movies take place in an alternate timeline, but the Return of the Living Dead series are in the TVCU.  In this film, the Thriller Zombie appears.  Of course, this isn't Michael Jackson necessarily, but perhaps another of Michael's shape shifting zombie alien race. 



1988--MOONWALKER--Michael Jackson demonstrates his shape shifting abilities (which he has because he's an alien).  He takes on gangsters led by Mr. Big.  The shooting start that the child wishes upon, which brings Michael, may have been the Captain EO spaceship.  The drug dealers may have been K.R.A.K., from the video game NARC.  In that game, Mr. Big is in a wheel chair, which may be the result of this adventure.  I believe that his represents the real Michael Jackson's return to Earth after being kidnapped in 1984 by the Grey Aliens.  Even though the Robot Chicken sketch claims that the White Michael Jackson had been replacing Michael for over 15 years, I'd rather attribute the later Men in Black stuff to the real Michael.  Since I posted this, it's been brought to my attention that among those chasing Michael Jackson are the Noid from the Domino's commercials.  

September 1989--ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS--"Home Sweet Home"--I've demonstrated before that Alvin (the 80s version) could exist in the TVCU, through crossovers with the Wolf Man, Mister T, and Back to the Future.  Here, Michael Jackson helps the Chipmunks with a charity concert.

1991–1993: Dangerous, Heal the World Foundation, and Super Bowl XXVII

1991--REMEMBER THE TIME--Michael gets thrown back in time to Ancient Egypt, or visits another fairy tale realm based on Ancient Egypt.  He uses his alien abilities to become wizard adviser to the pharaoh.  

September 1991--THE SIMPSONS--"Stark Raving Dad"--The Simpsons meet a man who believes himself to be Michael Jackson.  Note that the character is indeed voiced by Michael Jackson, but the character is a man who suffers from a delusion, believing himself to be Michael Jackson, but he is not.  

1993–1994: First child sexual abuse allegations and first marriage

1993--DANGEROUS:  THE SHORT FILMS--The Simpsons work with Michael Jackson....the real one, not the mental patient who thinks he's Michael Jackson.

1995–1997: HIStory, second marriage, and fatherhood

1996--GHOSTS--The Maestro may be another of Michael's race of zombie alien shapeshifters with supernatural powers.  The Maestro lives in a mansion overlooking Normal Valley, who loves to entertain children but gets chased by the locals.  The Maestro commands an army of dancing ghouls much as the Thriller commands an army of zombies.  This short film/music video seems to have connections to both the works of Stephen King and to the Addams Family.

Close-up of a pale skinned Jackson with black hair. He is wearing a black jacket with white designs on it.

1997–2002: Label dispute and Invincible

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January 1999--CELEBRITY DEATH MATCH--"Death Bowl'99"--Michael Jackson and Madonna battle to the death.  It's been my theory that most of the celebrity combatants are clones.  Though with Michael's alien physiology, it could the the real Michael Jackson seen here.  

1999--SPACE CHANNEL 5--Michael Jackson saves the world from an alien invasion using his dance moves.  

Image may contain: 1 person, indoor

2000--READY 2 RUMBLE:  ROUND 2--Michael Jackson is among the boxers!

Later years

2002–2005: Second child sexual abuse allegations and acquittal


2002--MEN IN BLACK 2--Michael Jackson advocates to join the Men in Black.  Considering that he is an alien, it makes sense that he is aware of the existence if the MIB.  Since I posted this, it's been brought to my attention that in foreign versions of this film, Michael Jackson is said to be an alien, which fits nicely with the rest of this timeline.  However, in the original English version, it's Dennis Rodman that's referenced as an alien, and that works for me too since 3rd Rock from the Sun also says that Dennis Rodman is an alien (and that Michael Jordan is a robot!)


 2003--SCARY MOVIE 3--A grey alien poses as Michael Jackson.  The first Scary Movie had Squiggy from LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY as the school principle, so as ridiculous as the films are, they sort of fit in the TVCU.  The alien must have posed as Michael because Michael is an alien who has an in with the Men in Black.  In the later Robot Chicken sketch, it's revealed that this "White Michael Jackson" was created by the aliens as part of a plot to conquer Earth, an invasion that is played out in this film.  


2004--MISS CAST AWAY AND THE ISLAND GIRLS--Michael is now an MIB agent.  However, his mission in this film is to manipulate island castaways for the purposes of the Vatican.  It's probably because of the unethical nature of this mission that he later moves with his son to South Park under an assumed name.  

2004--SOUTH PARK--"The Jeffersons"--Michael Jackson has the Ark of the Covenant in his house


April 2005--ROBOT CHICKEN--"Badunkadunk"--Amidst the controversial trial regarding child molestation charges, it's revealed that the Michael Jackson on trial is not the real Michael Jackson.  This is "White Michael Jackson", a clone created by the Grey Aliens in 1984, part of their plans to conquer Earth.  This White Michael Jackson is battled by the real MIB Agent Michael Jackson, AKA Captain EO.  It appears that both are killed in this sketch, but of course Michael (the real one, I believe) does survive.  

2006–2009: Closure of Neverland, final years, and This Is It

May 2007--FAMILY GUY--"Meet the Quagmires"--Roger from American Dad! appears at the very end of the episode. His sole line from the episode is a reference to the first episode of American Dad, where he says "Francine, did you remember to get the Pecan Sandies?"  Great care is taken to recreate the feel of the decade. Some of the episode’s plot-points are derived from the Back to the Future trilogy and it incorporates elements from other movies: St. Elmo’s Fire, Caddyshack, Ghostbusters, Zapped!, Krull, Sixteen Candles, Die Hard, and Hellraiser. The time travel is animated to resemble Quantum Leap, and Brian propositions Lois in the televised version by using the band names Wham!, Oingo Boingo and Velvet Underground.  Quagmire references the entrance to Hogwarts (from Harry Potter) when telling the guys about the fourth hole that women allegedly have.  When Cleveland invites Peter to party at St. Elmo's Clam, Peter says that they will raise more Hell than Hellraiser, before cutting away to Pinhead, who is on a date, and unscrews the top of a salt shaker, which causes salt to spill onto his girlfriend's food, to his own amusement.  This episode spoofs the title sequence of The Jetsons, copying it exactly up to the point where Jane tries to leave with George's wallet. Unlike the previous Jetsons spoof in “Brian in Love”, which featured Family Guy versions of the Jetson characters, this spoof features them in their original designs.  While Brian is singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" you can see Michael Jackson and 2 gang leaders dancing, and Peter and Lois following. This is a reference to the closing dance in the Michael Jackson song "Beat It".  This episode is loosely based on the plot of Back to the Future, and heavily spoofs it during the dance scene. During the dance scene, the photograph Brian pulls out while playing guitar, the first song playing, the phone call, Brian overdoing the second song, and the way Peter wins back Lois all parody the dance scene from the film. The same song "Earth Angel" plays during both dance scenes, mirroring the events in the dance in tune with the song.  Although the episode parodies the first Back to the Future, much of the second Back to the Future is suggested, particularly the creepy alternate 1985 music when Peter learns of the skewered timeline, and Brian acting like Doc Brown using a blackboard to explain how history changed.  In the TV version, during the Jetsons opening spoof George says "Bullcrap" instead of "bullshit".

June 25, 2009--This is the day the real Michael Jackson died in the real world.  I in no means wish to dishonor the legacy of Micheal Jackson, and this post is not a mockery of his complicated life.  This post is a tribute to the impact Michael Jackson had on pop culture.  So in saying that, in the TVCU, Michael did die on this date, but is resurrected a year later by a Frankenstein.  

The single-storey house has white walls, two windows, a central white door with a black door frame, and a black roof. In front of the house there is a walk way and multiple colored flowers and memorabilia.Jackson's Star with flowers and notes on itPortrait and other tributes, including mural and messages from 650 Spanish fans, letters, pictures, teddy bears, and flowers.Silver-colored statue of Jackson standing up with his arms bent inward and both legs spaced apart.

The Jacksons: Unity Tour

Yawn of the Dead Poster

June 2010--MARY SHELLEY'S FRANKENHOLE--"Yawn of the Dead"--Dr. Victor Frankenstein, but not THE Dr. Victor Frankenstein, resurrects Michael Jackson and reunites him with his son, Blanket.  

March 2011--FAMILY GUY--"The Hand that Rocks the Wheelchair"--The ending with Stewie's were-wolf yellow eyes and maniacal laughter is taken from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video.  The music playing when evil Stewie appears is from the Star Trek episode "The Enemy Within".  Stewie's clone's reversal of colors is similar to Clark Kent and Bizarro in Smallville.

Frankenstein's Monster and Ivan
Ivan resists the evil of the Thriller
MARCH OF THE LIVING DEAD - Ivan is visited in a dream by Donovan Scott, who tells him "they're putting the band back together." Thinking Scott meant the Vogue Rogues, Ivan meets with Andre, Cookie, and Gus in Louisville.  During their reunion, which coincided with the Super Full Moon, an explosion at the Rubbertown Chemical Plant complex produces a new crop of Trioxin zombies, complete with the return of Thriller. The undead are put down by the Vogue Rogues with assistance from the Monster of Frankenstein, who mentions having fought similar zombies in Santa Mira, California alongside two froggy brothers.
The Rogues at Scott's grave, March 2011
The zombies were having fun...
The Super Full Moon was on March 19th, while the Rubbertown Chemical Plant fire occured on March 21st. Trioxin zombies are from THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (1985). The Thriller zombie first appeared in the short movie MICHAEL JACKSON'S THRILLER (1983), but it later appeared in RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD PART II (1988) and it is from this use that the zombie arrives here. The Frankenstein Monster first appeared in Mary Shelley's FRANKENSTEIN (1819), but there have been many copycat monsters created and this may not be the original. This particular version did appear in the short story Redux of the Living Dead (from the 2012 PSYCHOPOMP HALLOWEEN SPECIAL) written by Kevin Heim, which featured the Monster battling Trioxin zombies alongside the Frogg Brothers (from LOST BOYS, 1987) in Santa Mira (fictional California city first used in the novel THE BODY SNATCHERS, 1955), as a follow-up to the events of the movie RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD: NECROPOLIS (2005).

2499--SPACE CHANNEL 5--An evil alien kidnaps people and forces them to dance.  Michael Jackson appears.  This is the original Michael Jackson.  As an alien, he clearly has a longer life span.  It's said that 500 years earlier, Michael stopped an alien invasion of Earth using his dance moves.  

For John D. Lindsey, Jr.... (Private Joke among the Crewsies).  Join us in the forum if you'd like to know what this is about.

Monday, July 24, 2017

Sonny and Cher: I Got You Babe

February 16, 1935--Birth of Salvatore Phillip "SonnyBono.

1946–1961: Early life

May 20, 1946--Birth of Cherilyn Sarkisian

1954--Sonny marries Donna Rankin

A black and white photograph of a young, dark-haired girl looking at the camera and smiling.

1962–1964: The origin

1962–1965: Solo career breakthrough
1962--Sonny divorces Donna Rankin

1963–1995--Years active for Sonny Bono as musician.

1963 to present--Years active for Cher as musician.


1964--Sonny marries Cher LaPiere, according to his Wikipedia page.


1964–77--Years active as Sonny & Cher

1965–1966: Career development

1965–1967: Sonny and Cher's rise to pop stardom

Image result for WILD ON THE BEACH

1965--WILD ON THE BEACH--Wild on the Beach is a 1965 beach party film directed by Maury Dexter. It is notable for the musical acts showcased onscreen, being the film debut of Sonny & Cher in particular. In addition, it is distinguished as being one of the few films in the genre to be filmed in black and white.

1965--Look at Us

A black and white photograph of a young, dark-haired woman. She's raising her right arm, looking to the right and smiling. She is behind a curtain.

1967–1969: Career woes
1967–1970: Backlash from the younger generation, first marriage


1967--GOOD TIMES--Good Times is a 1967 American musical comedy film starring Sonny & Cher. The film marks the feature directorial debut (excluding documentaries) of William Friedkin, who later directed The French Connection and The Exorcist.

1967--In Case You're in Love 

1969--Cher marries 
Sonny Bono, according to her Wikipedia page.  

Cher with black curly hair, wearing a white dress

1970–1977: TV success and divorce

1970--THE SONNY AND CHER NITTY GRITTY HOUR--Television Special, one episode


1971 to 1974--THE SONNY AND CHER COMEDY HOUR--Three Seasons; Nominated - Emmy Award, 19 nominations

1971–1974: Television career breakthrough, first musical comeback

Image may contain: 1 person

1972--FACEBOOK--"Deacon Dark"--According to the Deacon Dark Facebook page:  "In 1972, Hanna-Barbera approached Deacon Dark and asked him to be on the popular kids Saturday morning TV series, THE NEW SCOOBY DOO. Deacon was thrilled! He signed off on the project without reading the contract and instead of the dark satanic episode originally scripted, Hanna-Barbera scrapped it in place of a friendly "Kids, don't litter" theme so popular in the early 70s. For an undone reason, they also teamed up his character with singer/performer Cher in a hopes to bring in the girly audience. In the end, the public was left with a watered-down Deacon, nothing was smashed, not toads were stepped on. Deacon was depressed for months after the airing and vowed to never work in cartoons again.  It is also interesting to note that Deacon did not supply the voice for his character. On the day of the recording, Deacon arrived inebriated on Olde English Malt Liquor and was unable to even speak. His voice was done by veteran voice actor Jonathan Winters."  Deacon Dark was a fictional character portrayed by Sonny Bono on the Sonny and Cher Show.  This was posted on April 30, 2014.  Sonny Bono passed away on January 5, 1998.  So I'm not sure if this post is considered official or if this is a fan page.  

1972--All I Ever Need Is You

October 28, 1972--THE NEW SCOOBY-DOO MOVIES--SEASON 1 EPISODE 8--"The Secret of Shark Island"--Guest Starring Sonny & Cher 


1973--THE SONNY AND CHER VARIETY SHOW--"Bad Bad Leroy Brown"--Leroy is chased by King Kong and others.  Sonny and Cher appear in the video.  

1973--Mama Was a Rock and Roll Singer, Papa Used to Write All Her Songs

1974–1979: Divorce from Sonny Bono, second marriage, decline of popularity

1974--THE SONNY COMEDY REVUE--One Season; Nominated - Emmy Award, 1 nomination

1975--Sonny divorces Cher LaPiere

1975--Cher divorces Sonny Bono

1975--Cher marries Gregg Allman

1975 TO 1976--THE CHER SHOW--Two Seasons; Nominated - Emmy Award, 11 nominations


March 22, 1975--THE CHER SHOW--Through the "magic of television", Cher looks back to the 1950s to confirm that Col. Henry Blake survived after his departure from the 4077 MASH and his alleged death.  Note that a lot of people on the interwebs think this happened on the Carol Burnett Show, but that is incorrect.  

Sonny and Cher Show - 1976.jpg

1976 to 1977--THE SONNY & CHER SHOW--Two Seasons; Nominated - Emmy Award, 3 nominations

1977--Warner Bros.

1978–1999: After Sonny and Cher

Just before February 1978--SUPERMAN VS. MUHAMMAD ALI--The cover art for Superman vs Muhammed Ali shows cameos of several real and fictional characters, including the teacher and students from WELCOME BACK KOTTERColumbo, and Lucy!  And Donny & Marie Osmond, Sonny & Cher, the Jackson 5, etc.

1979–1982: Second musical comeback, shift from disco music to rock

1979--Cher divorces Gregg Allman

1982–1987: Film career breakthrough, musical hiatus

1983--Sonny marries Susie Coelho

1984--Sonny divorces Susie Coelho

1986--Sonny marries Mary Whitaker

1987–1992: Film stardom, third musical comeback

1987--one-off reunion

April 1988 – April 1992--Sonny is mayor of Palm Springs.

December 1988--ROSEANNE--"Here's to Good Friends"--Cher is heard.

Christmas at Pee Wee's Playhouse Poster

December 1988--CHRISTMAS AT PEE WEE'S PLAYHOUSE--Cher appears.

November 1990--GOLDEN GIRLS--"Mrs. George Devereaux"--Sonny Bono appears.  

Tough Love Poster

March 1991--BLOSSOM--"Tough Love"--Sonny Bono appears.

1992–1997: Health and professional struggles, directing debut

The Player Poster

1992--THE PLAYER--Cher appears.

Ready to Wear Poster

1994--READY TO WEAR--Cher appears.

Sonny Bono.jpg

January 3, 1995 – January 5, 1998--Sonny serves in the U.S. Congress.

Release Date: September 20, 1996 - May 25, 1999 (Contemporary Setting)
Series: Clueless
The Story: Cher is a rich girl in Beverly Hills who means well, but tends to be too self involved.
Notes: Cher was named after the more famous Cher.

Release Date: February 7, 1997 (Contemporary Setting)
Horror Crosses: Sabrina the Teenage Witch (television)
The Story: Cher falls for a new boy.
Notes: During the closing credits, Cher is talking with Sabrina, who is posing as a student at Cher’s school and then snaps her fingers and vanishes when Cher looks away. This was a cross-promotional gag, but it still counts as a valid crossover.

1998–2000: Death of Sonny Bono, fourth musical comeback

January 5, 1998--Sonny Bono died

1998--SONNY AND ME:  CHER REMEMBERS--Television Special, one episode; Tribute to Bono

2000 to 2002--WILL & GRACE--"Gypsies, Tramps and Weed/A.I.:  Artificial Insemination"--Cher appears in two episodes.  

2001–2013: Touring success, Vegas residency, return to film

Stuck on You Poster

2003--STUCK ON YOU--Cher appears.  

  • Cher (2008–2011)

November 2009--FAMILY GUY--"Quagmire's Baby"--Peter finds the Wicked Witch of the West's broomstick from the 1939 movie The Wizard of Oz in his basement. He flies on it and skywrites "Retire Cher" to the Witch's musical theme from the film.  Fred Flintstone was caught drunk driving on World's Wildest Police Chases."

2013–present: Return to music and touring, Broadway project


FIRST KID--This is a divergent timeline where President Davenport is in office in 1996 instead of Bill Clinton, and Davenport has a son named Luke is is quite a handful for the secret service. Congressman Sonny Bono appears in this film.

P.S.I. Luv U Poster

P.S.I. LUV U--Circa 1991, Sonny Bono is mayor of New York City in this alternate timeline.

TVCU-29-Skitlandia and non-canon commercials:  Archie and Gloria Bunker also appeared on THE SONNY AND CHER COMEDY HOUR.